Giveaway: 6 Tips to recognize dating "ghosting" & “Smoke Drink F*#k” Book

Esme Oliver's "Smoke Drink F*#k", is Riverdale Avenue Books' new novel based on true events where she ran off to Italy after turning 40 and having a failed relationship. While there Esme vows to smoke, drink, and have no attachment fun, but ends up falling in love with Fernando, who ultimately ghosts her.

Riverdale Avenue Books Smoke Drink F*#k Book by Esme Oliver

Have you heard of "Ghosting"? It's a new (?) phenomenon that doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon. It seems ghosting is the newest dating phenomenon due to technology and it can happen at any age. Unfortunately, it is here to stay ladies, but you can catch a ghost before the heartbreak.

Below Esme shares how to see the warning signs so you can recognize ghosting early on

The Phenomenon of Ghosting: Signs when it's About to Occur By Esme Oliver


Right before my 40th birthday, I jaunted off to Italy to have some fun. I immediately met a handsome and charming chef who was six years my junior. I vowed to only have a fling with him and enjoy myself.

Later, however, after returning to the States, we developed a relationship, and I fell in love with him. We talked, texted and emailed constantly, anxiously making plans to see each other again for Thanksgiving, where we were going to spend a week in Rome and Lisbon.

Suddenly, only one week before my departure, he stopped responding to texts and refused to take my phone calls. This left me both anxious, shocked and eventually devastated. Then, as only two days before the trip approached, I learned from his best friend that he had hopped on a plane to Istanbul. Allegedly, he was overwhelmed and needed to be alone.

I never saw him or heard from him again. Quite simply, I was ghosted - Internationally.

Ghosting is a very painful experience. It is not only unbelievably shocking, it's also an experience that leaves you feeling confused and empty -- You never get the closure you so desperately need. In fact, it was so devastating to me that I wrote an entire book about it.

Here are a few signs you may see that should signal the red flag:

  1. Massive Large Doses of Affection. Be very cautious of guys who pour on the affection, privately and in public, and dole out an enormous amount of compliments. This type of attention can be intoxicating but remember they are just words. Anyone can say anything. In sum, if it feels too good to be true, it probably is.
  2. Sporadic "Check Outs." If the guy has been sending you constant texts and blowing up your phone then stops for a little bit-- Be wary. This could be a sign that they are going to check out for good soon. You should not be the person to constantly initiate communication. If you do, this is your insecurity and your desperate attempt to hold on.
  3. Failure to Make Concrete Plans. If he is communicating with you through text and email regularly, but never makes a definitive plan to get together, then you should be on guard. Men like attention and he may even like you, but he probably needs attention from a lot of women and may be on the precipice of ghosting you for a perceived better catch.
  4. Relationship Talk. If he starts to talk about past failed relationships or his difficulties associated around relationships, listen. If he has had a litany of failed relationships, he just may not be ready for this one.
  5. Not Responding to Texts or Calls Promptly Anymore. Typically the ghosting type of man will immediately respond to texts or calls. He will feed you lines such as, Sorry I can't talk right now. In a meeting. Will call after. This is tricky because it makes you believe they care about you and are incredibly emotionally available. Be alert when these type of responses cease, which they often do. You may be on the verge of being ghosted.
  6. Lots of Excuses for Absences. Men who are checking out on you and on the verge of disappearing for good, tend to be cowards who simply cannot tell the truth -- I'm just not that into you. When you start to question them, they will make up “good” excuses -- Work is so busy now. Traveling nonstop with work. Pressure from my family to come visit more often. Most often, they will blame work. Watch for these lame excuses. They usually are a harbinger of things to come.


Ghosting is brutal. How do you deal with it? Well it is easier to tell you what not to do....Do NOT contact him again. If he wanted to talk to you, he will be in touch.

Men are hunters and are aggressive. They will move mountains to get what they want, especially if they are truly interested. Do not bother texting him either to see what happens, this actually gives you the upper hand in the situation if he runs back to you. He won't respond, you will just embarrass yourself by reaching out again.

I wrote the book, Smoke Drink F*#k, to help me overcome being ghosted, but friends and your therapist would easily lend their ears to you. You may never get the closure you desperately seek and deserve. But you will have your dignity and you will move on – The sooner you do, the happier you will be.

Esme Oliver new book Smoke Drink F*#K is available where digital and print books are sold and at , Amazon, Barnes & Nobles Nook, iTunes, Kobo and www.RiverdaleAveBooks.com

ENTER TO WIN THIS GIVEAWAY!

  • (1) Smoke Drink F*#k Book by Esme Oliver

WAYS TO ENTER:

Entries must be made on or before 11:59 p.m. June 19, 2017.

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TERMS AND CONDITIONS

Winner will be selected by random.org. Giveaway entry must be completed before extra entries will count. Winner will be contacted by email and must respond within 24 hours or a new winner will be selected. Open to residents of the U.S. with a valid street address.


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+ comments + 19 comments

June 15, 2017 at 9:24 AM

Not Responding to Texts or Calls Promptly Anymore.

June 17, 2017 at 7:03 PM

I hope I win, this sounds fantastic!!

June 17, 2017 at 9:16 PM

The relationship talk. I'm glad I'm not single anymore!

June 18, 2017 at 11:16 AM

Lots of excuses for absences.

June 18, 2017 at 12:15 PM

I found useful the tip - Not Responding to Texts or Calls Promptly Anymore

June 18, 2017 at 2:19 PM

Sporadic "Check Outs." is a useful tip. Had an ex-boyfriend do this before our relationship came to a failure.

Stephanie
June 18, 2017 at 5:45 PM

My favorite tip was too not respond to all texts and calls quickly.

Anonymous
June 18, 2017 at 6:06 PM

Not respond to all texts and calls quickly. Patricia

June 18, 2017 at 7:04 PM

My favorite was not responding to text quickly

June 18, 2017 at 8:03 PM

Not Responding to Texts or Calls Promptly Anymore

June 18, 2017 at 8:59 PM

Not responding to texts or calls promptly anymore

June 18, 2017 at 9:08 PM

The relationship talk is probably the biggest. Its scary

June 18, 2017 at 9:20 PM

The best advice is when u ask about a future. If a guy can't respond to that dump them.

June 18, 2017 at 10:02 PM

Massive Large Doses of Affection. Be very cautious of guys who pour on the affection, privately and in public, and dole out an enormous amount of compliments. This type of attention can be intoxicating but remember they are just words. Anyone can say anything. In sum, if it feels too good to be true, it probably is.

June 18, 2017 at 10:10 PM

Not Responding to Texts or Calls Promptly Anymore is the most helpful tip!

June 18, 2017 at 10:50 PM

I NEED THIS BOOK!! Thanks so much for this chance. Good luck everyone. Fingers and toes crossed.

June 18, 2017 at 11:34 PM

The not texting back. It has happened a few times.

June 18, 2017 at 11:56 PM

I definitely think it's about taking your time to respond

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